Since I did not move to Germany as a small child, the second I open my mouth everyone can tell I am not from here. Some people are nice enough to say they find my accent charming (really? An American accent?) or amusing, and usually I get asked a series of questions, varying based on how audacious the Asker is feeling. I am always flattered that someone is interested in getting to know me and where I’m from (a privilege people from some countries can’t enjoy), so I don’t mind answering of course, but especially at the beginning, some questions caught me off guard. Cultural assumptions are made and implied by the Asker. You’ll see what I mean by this. So I pretty much have my spiel down pat for the following questions:

1) Where are you from?

Obviously the first question asked. Often then greeted with surprise, like wow, that’s far away, or that’s interesting or cool, if the Asker is an America Fan (someone who loves American movies, pop culture, etc.). Often comes part two, where in America? Based on the Asker’s reaction to my answer to this (blank stare or an “oh!!”), I often ask another question back, “do you know where that is?”, with the usual reply of “sort of”. Chicago and The Great Lakes usually ring a bell then. About a third of the time people guess I am from Holland! Wow! My guess is my American “l’s” are more gutteral like in the Dutch language, that mixed with a different melody when I talk. Surprisingly, no one ever thinks I am from England.

2) How long have you been here?

In the meantime, many are surprised at how long it’s been already (as am I when I say it too, to be honest)! Since its been so long already, plus the fact that I studied German in addition to Music Performance, my German is better than most who move here “fresh” to work or study. This usually illicits surprise as to my German level, which warrants the above explanation. Still, the accent may get. little better with time but will definitely never go away.

3) Why did you move here / did you come here because of love or the military?

I understand that the second version of this is asked innocently enough, but it shows a lot about the cultural assumptions that people in general, but here Germans in specific, hold. Why else would an American come to Germany besides to follow a loved one or because one was assigned to come? Plus, just a hunch, but I’m pretty sure American males are not asked this part. I guess there aren’t many American females my age over voluntarily, so I am living proof of why we can never assume anything about someone else! I like it when the Asker then seems stumped at my answer, asking no further questions.

4) How often do you visit home?

Easy answer. I try once a year for at least 2 weeks.

5) Do you want to move back / are you going to stay here?

This one gets asked a lot less nowadays that I have a husband and kids, but is still asked. I usually say jokingly “guess it looks like I’ll be staying here for a while now”. Otherwise, only God knows what the future will bring, right?

6) Why Germany?

This is usually asked by people who don’t realize how rich Germany is in classical music or aren’t part of that scene at all. They see America as a great place to live, which it is too of course, and wonder why an American would move here in particular.

8) What are some differences?

This is also a deeper conversation favorite, asked when you talk with someone for longer. Since most people have a general idea in their head of America, they are often interested to see what an *actual* American has to say on the topic.

8) Is it better in the States / do you like living here or in the States?

My inner reply to this one, again, asked innocently enough, is “what kind of a question is that, haha?” It’s usually asked by those who know or think they know a little bit about America, or maybe just those trying to make conversation by asking a more interesting, non-standard question. My response to this is also always a variation of “both countries have their pros and cons, America is like ‘home’ but you can have a good life here too”.

9) Did I vote for *insert current president* for president?

This is another “are you serious?” question. Aren’t politics and religion taboo topics for family gatherings and with people you just met? While I would not ask someone I just met this loaded question, others interested in politics apparently let their curiosity get the best of them. Many Germans follow (and have an opinion) about American politics and are ready to see what you as an American have to say about it, whether the inquiry is politically-correct or not. Being an expat forces you to be political whether you want to be or not, otherwise you look like an idiot, which not only reflects on you but your whole country. Really.

10) Don’t you miss your family?

Answer: Of course. Even more so now that I have kids. That’s why I try to visit whenever I can and am very thankful for technology!